Incoming Transmission....Commlink Established...
"EARTHIES!
Your prayers to the dark gods have been answered—the OFFICIAL Grimaldi Action Figure is HERE, and it's almost as terrifying as the real thing.
🔥 LIMITED TO JUST 666 UNITS (because we enjoy your suffering)
🔥 GLOWS IN THE DARK (like your soul should)
"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE BUCCANEER BUNNY STEALS THEM ALL!"
(Seriously, that thieving rodent has no shame.)
💀 GRAB YOURS HERE 💀
https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure
WARNING:
• May cause spontaneous obsession with Space Monsters lore
• Not responsible for divorce when your partner sees the credit card bill
• Side effects include: eternal bragging rights
#GrimaldiActionFigure #SpaceMonsters #LimitedEdition #HorrorCollector
👉 @SpaceMonstersMag
👉 @OblivionTradingPost
...End Transmission...
P.S. First 50 orders get a FREE vial of "Slime" (non-toxic... probably). Move fast, maggots.