Wednesday, June 18, 2025

The Legionnaire’s Guide to Weaponizing Retailers (A Step-by-Step Cosmic Takeover)

 ๐Ÿšจ ATTENTION, LEGIONNAIRES! ๐Ÿšจ


YOUR MISSION (SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT):

Make Space Monsters Magazine and Oblivion Trading Post merch appear in stores near you—or die trying!


HOW TO DEPLOY:

1️⃣ SCREAM at your local comic/horror shops:

"WHY DON’T YOU STOCK SPACE MONSTERS?!" (Extra points for fake tears)

2️⃣ TAG US @SpaceMonstersMag + the shop (we’ll back you up menacingly)

3️⃣ TELL THEM to email spacemonsterzmag@gmail.com for:


Wholesale pricing...code available to retailers upon request. 


Press kits (to prove we’re legitimately unhinged)


Bragging rights (because carrying us = instant cool points)


WHY BOTHER?

✔️ More stores = more recruits for Grimaldi’s Legion

✔️ We’ll list all certified retailers in Issue #2 (eternal fame!)

✔️ Never again suffer "Sorry, we don’t carry that" despair


๐Ÿ”ฅ FIRST 20 FANS to get a store to order get:


"Retail Terrorist" digital badge (brag on ALL profiles)


Shoutout in our newsletter (65k+ equally deranged subscribers)


P.S. Too impatient? Order direct & rub it in their faces:

OblivionTradingPost.com


#RetailRebellion #StockTheHorror #GrimaldisArmy #StockOrPerish


Space Monsters Magazine can be found at the following locations:


Haunted Burrow Books - Seattle Wa. 


Skylight Books - Los Angeles


Forbidden Planet - New York City


Atomic Books - Baltimore MD. 


Reanimated Records - San Diego, CA.



and the list is growing daily....























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