The Legionnaire’s Guide to Weaponizing Retailers (A Step-by-Step Cosmic Takeover)

 🚨 ATTENTION, LEGIONNAIRES! 🚨

YOUR MISSION (SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT):

Make Space Monsters Magazine and Oblivion Trading Post merch appear in stores near you—or die trying!

HOW TO DEPLOY:

1️⃣ SCREAM at your local comic/horror shops:

"WHY DON’T YOU STOCK SPACE MONSTERS?!" (Extra points for fake tears)

2️⃣ TAG US @SpaceMonstersMag + the shop (we’ll back you up menacingly)

3️⃣ TELL THEM to email spacemonsterzmag@gmail.com for:

Wholesale pricing...code available to retailers upon request. 

Press kits (to prove we’re legitimately unhinged)

Bragging rights (because carrying us = instant cool points)

WHY BOTHER?

✔️ More stores = more recruits for Grimaldi’s Legion

✔️ We’ll list all certified retailers in Issue #2 (eternal fame!)

✔️ Never again suffer "Sorry, we don’t carry that" despair

🔥 FIRST 20 FANS to get a store to order get:

"Retail Terrorist" digital badge (brag on ALL profiles)

Shoutout in our newsletter (65k+ equally deranged subscribers)

P.S. Too impatient? Order direct & rub it in their faces:

OblivionTradingPost.com

#RetailRebellion #StockTheHorror #GrimaldisArmy #StockOrPerish

Space Monsters Magazine can be found at the following locations:

Haunted Burrow Books - Seattle Wa. 

Skylight Books - Los Angeles

Forbidden Planet - New York City

Atomic Books - Baltimore MD. 

Reanimated Records - San Diego, CA.

and the list is growing daily....