Earth was fun. Time to upgrade.

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"THE EARTH DEFENSE IS SHATTERED – TIME TO PLUNDER!

The Oblivion Trading Post is your black market gateway to interstellar horror, anime rebellion, and collector-grade damnation. Choose your path:

OBLIVION'S BLACK MARKET

Cursed collectibles

Horror oddities

Limited-edition nightmares

👉 Shop the Damned: https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/oblivion-trading-post-merch

BLACKJACK BRIGADE COLLECTION

Anime-infused outlaw gear

Buccaneer Bunny's plundered goods

High-stakes style for cosmic pirates

👉 Join the Heist: https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/blackjack-brigade-collection

📡 SPACE MONSTERS SUBSCRIPTIONS

4 terror-packed issues/year

Glowing LED badge + lanyard

10% OFF all merch for life

Fan-club exclusives

👉 Enlist Now: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/phantom-lieutenant-tier-subscription-fan-club-now-with-led-badge-upgrade-79-99

🛸 SELL YOUR WARES ON OBLIVION

Creators! Monetize your madness through our interstellar marketplace.

👉 babelfishsd@proton.me

WARNING: Supplies dwindle faster than Buccaneer Bunny's patience.

End Transmission

🔗 Follow the Coven: Space Monsters

#BlackjackBrigade #SpaceMonsters #OblivionTradingPost

(P.S. That "6.66" price tag? Not a coincidence.)

From Folklore to Film: The Unholy Truth Behind Nosferatu

 

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"ATTENTION, BLOODSUCKER ENTHUSIASTS & HISTORY NERDS!

Elizabeth Belmont—vampire historian by day, nightmare archivist by night—just dropped About That Mustache, a razor-sharp dissection of the Nosferatu (2024) remake through the lens of REAL vampire lore.

🔪 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN SPACE MONSTERS #1:

✔ How Robert Eggers’ remake stacks up against centuries of undead myths

✔ The shocking historical truths behind Orlok’s iconic look (that mustache isn’t just for show)

✔ Why vampires don’t sparkle (and other crimes against folklore)

📖 **THIS ISN’T JUST A MOVIE REVIEW—IT’S A BLOODSTAINED HISTORY LESSON.

💀 GRAB YOUR COPY BEFORE WE RUN OUT (LIKE SUNLIGHT IN TRANSYLVANIA):

👉 https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/space-monsters-1

End Transmission

🔗 Follow the Coven: Space Monsters

#Nosferatu #VampireLore #SpaceMonsters #ElizabethBelmont

(P.S. Buccaneer Bunny thinks vampires are “overrated.” He also thinks soap is optional.)

7 INCHES OF COSMIC MENACE: THE GRIMALDI ACTION FIGURE IS HERE

 

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"FINALLY, A TOY WORTHY OF YOUR DAMNATION!

The OFFICIALLY LICENSED GRIMALDI ACTION FIGURE has arrived—7 inches of reanimated cosmic horror, ready to corrupt your shelf and haunt your nightmares.

FEATURES INCLUDE:

✔ Articulated limbs (for maximum sinister posing)

✔ Glow-in-the-dark slime (because regular slime is for amateurs)

PREPARE FOR CORRUPTION:

👉 https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: Space Monsters

#GrimaldiActionFigure #HorrorToys #SpaceMonsters

YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE

 

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"YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE. 🔥

The Oblivion Trading Post just stocked three unholy relics that'll corrupt your shelves, warp your walls, and melt your mind—but only if you're brave (or stupid) enough to click 'order.'

💀 SPACE MONSTERS #1 – The magazine so brutal, it makes Tales from the Crypt look like Barney. Your therapist warned you about this.

🌌 DARK MATTER PROJECTOR – Bathe your lair in cosmic horror hues (and possibly unlock a gateway to the void). Who needs sunlight when you’ve got eldritch glow?

🔪 HOOKER WITH A HACKSAW – Pretty Woman meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Julia Roberts could never.

STOCK IS VANISHING FASTER THAN BUCANEER BUNNY'S DIGNITY.

👉 CLAIM YOUR DOOM 👈

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: www.obliviontradingpost.com

#OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonsters #CosmicHorror #GrindhouseGore

(P.S. If you don’t buy these, Buccaneer Bunny wins. And nobody wants that.)

THE SPACE MONSTERS GLOW-UP (WARNING: IRREVERSIBLE)

 

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"BEFORE vs. AFTER READING SPACE MONSTERS MAGAZINE

BEFORE:

☑️ Believed vampires sparkled

☑️ Thought ‘cosmic horror’ was a fancy latte

☑️ Slept soundly like a naive little meatbag

AFTER:

Knows 47 ways to survive a slime invasion

Demands practical FX in ALL films

Wakes up screaming in at least 3 languages

Owns a Grimaldi shrine (voluntary... mostly)

WARNING: Side effects include sudden elitism, uncontrollable punk tendencies, and the urge to overthrow Earth governments.

🚀 JOIN THE DAMNED:

👉 https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/space-monsters-magazine-digital-editions

End Transmission

🔗 Follow the Cult: @SpaceMonstersMag

#SpaceMonsters #BeforeAndAfter #CosmicCorruption

Click-Order Terror Awaits You At Oblivion

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE. 🔥

The Oblivion Trading Post just stocked three unholy relics that'll corrupt your shelves, warp your walls, and melt your mind—but only if you're brave (or stupid) enough to click 'order.'

💀 SPACE MONSTERS #1 – The magazine so brutal, it makes Tales from the Crypt look like Barney. Your therapist warned you about this.

🌌 DARK MATTER PROJECTOR – Bathe your lair in cosmic horror hues (and possibly unlock a gateway to the void). Who needs sunlight when you’ve got eldritch glow?

🔪 HOOKER WITH A HACKSAW – Pretty Woman meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Julia Roberts could never.

STOCK IS VANISHING FASTER THAN BUCANEER BUNNY'S DIGNITY.

👉 CLAIM YOUR DOOM 👈

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: www.obliviontradingpost.com

#OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonsters #CosmicHorror #GrindhouseGore

(P.S. If you don’t buy these, Buccaneer Bunny wins. And nobody wants that.)

YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE. 🔥

The Oblivion Trading Post just stocked three unholy relics that'll corrupt your shelves, warp your walls, and melt your mind—but only if you're brave (or stupid) enough to click 'order.'

💀 SPACE MONSTERS #1 – The magazine so brutal, it makes Tales from the Crypt look like Barney. Your therapist warned you about this.

🌌 DARK MATTER PROJECTOR – Bathe your lair in cosmic horror hues (and possibly unlock a gateway to the void). Who needs sunlight when you’ve got eldritch glow?

🔪 HOOKER WITH A HACKSAW – Pretty Woman meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Julia Roberts could never.

STOCK IS VANISHING FASTER THAN BUCANEER BUNNY'S DIGNITY.

👉 CLAIM YOUR DOOM 👈

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: www.obliviontradingpost.com

#OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonsters #CosmicHorror #GrindhouseGore

(P.S. If you don’t buy these, Buccaneer Bunny wins. And nobody wants that.)