Space Monsters Magazine Commercial Spot for The Monster Channel

 

This is the advertisement created for THE MONSTER CHANNEL. Space Monsters Magazine www.spacemonstersmagazine.com available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Oblivion Trading Post as well as fine retailers across the United States. Ask for it by name. If you know a retailer that you would like to carry it have them reach out to us! We have special deals and incentives for retailers.

www.obliviontradingpost.com

#obliviontradingpost #horrormagazine #scifimagazine #grimaldi #grimaldiwinsagain

Earth was fun. Time to upgrade.

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"THE EARTH DEFENSE IS SHATTERED – TIME TO PLUNDER!

The Oblivion Trading Post is your black market gateway to interstellar horror, anime rebellion, and collector-grade damnation. Choose your path:

OBLIVION'S BLACK MARKET

Cursed collectibles

Horror oddities

Limited-edition nightmares

👉 Shop the Damned: https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/oblivion-trading-post-merch

BLACKJACK BRIGADE COLLECTION

Anime-infused outlaw gear

Buccaneer Bunny's plundered goods

High-stakes style for cosmic pirates

👉 Join the Heist: https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/blackjack-brigade-collection

📡 SPACE MONSTERS SUBSCRIPTIONS

4 terror-packed issues/year

Glowing LED badge + lanyard

10% OFF all merch for life

Fan-club exclusives

👉 Enlist Now: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/phantom-lieutenant-tier-subscription-fan-club-now-with-led-badge-upgrade-79-99

🛸 SELL YOUR WARES ON OBLIVION

Creators! Monetize your madness through our interstellar marketplace.

👉 babelfishsd@proton.me

WARNING: Supplies dwindle faster than Buccaneer Bunny's patience.

End Transmission

🔗 Follow the Coven: Space Monsters

#BlackjackBrigade #SpaceMonsters #OblivionTradingPost

(P.S. That "6.66" price tag? Not a coincidence.)

From Folklore to Film: The Unholy Truth Behind Nosferatu

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"ATTENTION, BLOODSUCKER ENTHUSIASTS & HISTORY NERDS!

Elizabeth Belmont—vampire historian by day, nightmare archivist by night—just dropped About That Mustache, a razor-sharp dissection of the Nosferatu (2024) remake through the lens of REAL vampire lore.

🔪 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN SPACE MONSTERS #1:

✔ How Robert Eggers’ remake stacks up against centuries of undead myths

✔ The shocking historical truths behind Orlok’s iconic look (that mustache isn’t just for show)

✔ Why vampires don’t sparkle (and other crimes against folklore)

📖 **THIS ISN’T JUST A MOVIE REVIEW—IT’S A BLOODSTAINED HISTORY LESSON.

💀 GRAB YOUR COPY BEFORE WE RUN OUT (LIKE SUNLIGHT IN TRANSYLVANIA):

👉 https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/space-monsters-1

End Transmission

🔗 Follow the Coven: Space Monsters

#Nosferatu #VampireLore #SpaceMonsters #ElizabethBelmont

(P.S. Buccaneer Bunny thinks vampires are “overrated.” He also thinks soap is optional.)

7 INCHES OF COSMIC MENACE: THE GRIMALDI ACTION FIGURE IS HERE

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"FINALLY, A TOY WORTHY OF YOUR DAMNATION!

The OFFICIALLY LICENSED GRIMALDI ACTION FIGURE has arrived—7 inches of reanimated cosmic horror, ready to corrupt your shelf and haunt your nightmares.

FEATURES INCLUDE:

✔ Articulated limbs (for maximum sinister posing)

✔ Glow-in-the-dark slime (because regular slime is for amateurs)

PREPARE FOR CORRUPTION:

👉 https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: Space Monsters

#GrimaldiActionFigure #HorrorToys #SpaceMonsters

YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE. 🔥

The Oblivion Trading Post just stocked three unholy relics that'll corrupt your shelves, warp your walls, and melt your mind—but only if you're brave (or stupid) enough to click 'order.'

💀 SPACE MONSTERS #1 – The magazine so brutal, it makes Tales from the Crypt look like Barney. Your therapist warned you about this.

🌌 DARK MATTER PROJECTOR – Bathe your lair in cosmic horror hues (and possibly unlock a gateway to the void). Who needs sunlight when you’ve got eldritch glow?

🔪 HOOKER WITH A HACKSAW – Pretty Woman meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Julia Roberts could never.

STOCK IS VANISHING FASTER THAN BUCANEER BUNNY'S DIGNITY.

👉 CLAIM YOUR DOOM 👈

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: www.obliviontradingpost.com

#OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonsters #CosmicHorror #GrindhouseGore

(P.S. If you don’t buy these, Buccaneer Bunny wins. And nobody wants that.)

THE SPACE MONSTERS GLOW-UP (WARNING: IRREVERSIBLE)

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"BEFORE vs. AFTER READING SPACE MONSTERS MAGAZINE

BEFORE:

☑️ Believed vampires sparkled

☑️ Thought ‘cosmic horror’ was a fancy latte

☑️ Slept soundly like a naive little meatbag

AFTER:

Knows 47 ways to survive a slime invasion

Demands practical FX in ALL films

Wakes up screaming in at least 3 languages

Owns a Grimaldi shrine (voluntary... mostly)

WARNING: Side effects include sudden elitism, uncontrollable punk tendencies, and the urge to overthrow Earth governments.

🚀 JOIN THE DAMNED:

👉 https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/space-monsters-magazine-digital-editions

End Transmission

🔗 Follow the Cult: @SpaceMonstersMag

#SpaceMonsters #BeforeAndAfter #CosmicCorruption

Click-Order Terror Awaits You At Oblivion

 

INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...

"YOUR PATH TO DAMNATION STARTS HERE, EARTHIE. 🔥

The Oblivion Trading Post just stocked three unholy relics that'll corrupt your shelves, warp your walls, and melt your mind—but only if you're brave (or stupid) enough to click 'order.'

💀 SPACE MONSTERS #1 – The magazine so brutal, it makes Tales from the Crypt look like Barney. Your therapist warned you about this.

🌌 DARK MATTER PROJECTOR – Bathe your lair in cosmic horror hues (and possibly unlock a gateway to the void). Who needs sunlight when you’ve got eldritch glow?

🔪 HOOKER WITH A HACKSAW – Pretty Woman meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Julia Roberts could never.

STOCK IS VANISHING FASTER THAN BUCANEER BUNNY'S DIGNITY.

👉 CLAIM YOUR DOOM 👈

End Transmission

🔗 Join the Cult: www.obliviontradingpost.com

#OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonsters #CosmicHorror #GrindhouseGore

(P.S. If you don’t buy these, Buccaneer Bunny wins. And nobody wants that.)