Weapons Of Mass Collection

 

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"ATTENTION, EARTHIE SCUM & COLLECTORS OF THE DAMNED!

Your feed is about to be contaminated with the most beautifully unhinged ad spread this side of the Horsehead Nebula. Feast your pathetic eyes on Oblivion Trading Post’s Weapons of Mass Collection—a glorious assault on good taste, sanity, and your wallet.

🔥 HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS COSMIC WAR CRIME:

☠️ Grimaldi’s Glow-in-the-Dark Action Figure (Only 666 exist—like your chances of survival)

☠️ Space Monsters Pin Buttons (For marking your allies in the Spectral Legion)

☠️ Cinema Macabre Magazine (The grindhouse bible your coffee table deserves)

☠️ Frankenstein Jigsaw Puzzle (500 pieces of gothic torment)

☠️ Space Monsters #1 (100 pages of pure cosmic filth*)

"YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT DOOM:

STARE at this spread until your eyes bleed.

CLICK www.obliviontradingpost.com.

SURRENDER your funds.

WARNING: Side effects may include sudden obsession, unexplained merch hoarding, and Grimaldi’s eternal judgment.

#WeaponsOfMassCollection #CosmicContraband #HorrorHoarder

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P.S. Tag a fellow degenerate who needs this in their life. (We’ll watch the chaos unfold.)

WARNING: RADIOACTIVE MERCH DETECTED!

 

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"WARNING: RADIOACTIVE MERCH DETECTED!

The Oblivion Trading Post Fallout Sale is now contaminating your feed with glow-in-the-dark nightmares, limited-edition mutations, and collector-grade horrors hot from our nuclear-powered presses!

☢️ HOT ITEMS SPIKING OUR GEIGER COUNTERS:

→ Frankenstein Mousepads (Now with 10% more lab-grown spite)

→ Nosferatu Tees (Pulse-pounding 1500cpm radiation readings)

→ Crites Replicas (Guaranteed to emit dangerous levels of nostalgia)

→ Spectral Legion Kits (Includes glow-in-the-dark badge with safe levels of cesium-137)

"ACT FAST - THESE ITEMS HAVE A HALF-LIFE OF APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES!"

👉 Direct Exposure at OblivionTradingPost.com

#FalloutFinds #GlowInTheDarkMenace #RadiationRiot

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Grimaldi’s Guide to Feline Space Domination: The Lunar Riot Cat Helmet Has Landed!

 

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"EARTHIES!

Your pathetic house panther isn’t just a fuzzy little war criminal—they’re a ZERO-G MENACE IN TRAINING!

🚀 INTRODUCING THE FELINE ASTRONAUT HELMET

(Because even cats deserve to look fabulous while plotting lunar domination)

WHY YOUR CAT NEEDS THIS (OR ELSE):

🐾 SPACE-AGE STYLE – Finally, an outfit that matches their interstellar ego

🐾 PAW-SITIVELY PURRFECT FIT – Adjustable straps (because we know Fluffy will fight it)

🐾 RIOT-READY – Ideal for moonbase mutinies or knocking over your Saturn V model

🐾 100% APOCALYPSE-APPROVED – Because when the revolution comes, your cat should lead it

"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE THEY CLAW YOUR EYES OUT IN PROTEST!"

(Limited stock—like your cat’s patience.)

👽 GRAB IT HERE 👽

#LunarRiotCats #FelineAstronaut #SpaceMonsters #CatCosplay

👉 @SpaceMonstersMag

👉 @OblivionTradingPost

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P.S. Comes with zero guarantees your cat won’t immediately pancake-flop in protest. We accept no liability for feline tantrums.

#LunarRiotCats #FelineAstronaut #SpaceCats #CatCosplay #SciFiPets #SpaceMonsters #OblivionTradingPost #CatMemes #InterstellarPets #CosmicCats #ZeroGMenaces #GrimaldiApproved

Space Monsters officially lands in Ocean Beach

 

⚡ BREAKING FROM THE FORTRESS OF ULTIMATE DARKNESS ⚡

 Space Monsters Magazine has tunneled through the fabric of reality (via a suspiciously OB-shaped wormhole) and officially planted its flag in Ocean Beach, San Diego.

🌌 COSMIC LOOT ALERT: Signed copies of ISSUE #1 will materialize at The Black in Ocean Beach in 2 weeks—grab one before the Supreme Being notices and yanks them back to the Void.

📍 THE BLACK • 5017 Newport Ave • OB’s premier purveyor of goods & counterculture contraband (est. 1976).

#spacemonstersmagazine #spacemonstersmag #jasonbrazeal #donaldfglut #nicholasvince #elizabethbelmont #stevestrout #stevewerblun #elizabethgrossi #donaldfarmer #famousmonsters #spacemonsters #fangoria #sandiego #oceanbeachcalifornia #sandiegohorror #sandiegogoth #sandiegopunk #southerncalifornia #frankdietz #simonpritchard #dennisdaniel#simonpritchard #mickstrawn #gwar #beefcakethemighty #caseyorr

Official Space Monsters Limited Edition Grimaldi Action Figure

 

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"EARTHIES!

Your prayers to the dark gods have been answered—the OFFICIAL Grimaldi Action Figure is HERE, and it's almost as terrifying as the real thing.

🔥 LIMITED TO JUST 666 UNITS (because we enjoy your suffering)

🔥 GLOWS IN THE DARK (like your soul should)

"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE BUCCANEER BUNNY STEALS THEM ALL!"

(Seriously, that thieving rodent has no shame.)

💀 GRAB YOURS HERE 💀

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure

WARNING:

• May cause spontaneous obsession with Space Monsters lore

• Not responsible for divorce when your partner sees the credit card bill

• Side effects include: eternal bragging rights

#GrimaldiActionFigure #SpaceMonsters #LimitedEdition #HorrorCollector

👉 @SpaceMonstersMag

👉 @OblivionTradingPost

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P.S. First 50 orders get a FREE vial of "Slime" (non-toxic... probably). Move fast, maggots.

Space Monsters Magazine Crash Landing Pack

 

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"EARTHIES!

Did your last spaceship crash-land in a dumpster fire of regret? GOOD. Now you’ve got the perfect excuse to upgrade to the CRASH LANDING PACK—the only survival kit endorsed by intergalactic failures (and my slime-coated sense of humor).

WHAT’S IN THE BOX? (Besides cosmic despair?)

Space Monsters Magazine Issue #1 (The banned issue that got a UFO researcher ‘disappeared’ in 1997. Read at your own risk.

"Space Monsters Logo" T-shirt (your cult uniform)

Collection #1 of 5 Space Monsters Buttons (for trauma bonding)

WHY BUY?

✔️ Makes a great gift (for enemies you want to traumatize).

✔️ Guaranteed to impress (literally no one).

✔️ Survival rate: 0% (but hey, the merch is fire).

"ACT FAST, MAGGOTS! These packs are vanishing faster than your will to live!"

🔥 GRAB YOURS NOW 🔥

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/crash-landing-pack

👉 Tag your least competent friend below. They need this.

#CrashLandingPack #SpaceMonsters #FailLikeAPro #OblivionTradingPost #GrimaldiApproved

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Nosferatu Jigsaw puzzle - Angelo Mariano Art

 

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"PUZZLE YOUR WAY INTO THE NIGHT, EARTHIES! 🧩🦇

Tired of pathetic 500-piece puzzles featuring kittens or sunsets? BORING. How about a NOSFERATU JIGSAW PUZZLE so sinister, it’ll make your coffee table haunted?

🔹 252 pieces of vampiric torment (Count Orlok’s stare will judge you)

🔹 Premium matte finish (so slick, it’s like blood under moonlight)

🔹 Official nightmare fuel (100% unauthorized by sunlight)

Created from the esteemed artwork of Angelo Mariano!

"Think you can handle it? Or will you crumble like a peasant under the Count’s gaze?"

👉 GRAB YOURS NOW 👈

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/nosferatu-jigsaw-puzzle

"Happy puzzling… if you DARE."

👉 www.spacemonstersmagazine.com

👉 www.obliviontradingpost.com

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#Nosferatu #HorrorPuzzle #VampirePuzzle #GlowInTheDark #HorrorMerch #ClassicHorror #SilentFilm #HorrorCollector #GothicPuzzle #SpookyGames #HorrorGifts #PuzzleNight #HorrorArt #OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonstersMag